It is not closing means you get out

I love how we, as Indians, have made the English language our own, and even if it’s wrong English it makes complete sense to us.

“No means NO.” is maybe used even outside India? I don’t know for sure..but this seemingly pointless offering of a synonym that isn’t really a synonym is just meant to be emphatic and is spoken very authoritatively. The speaker has had the last word.

That brings me to the title of this blog post 🙂 The context in which it was spoken is what I’m going to write about.

I work in an IT company in Bangalore. And this image will give you an idea of how we pile into the lift (elevator) in the mornings.

Our brothers in China face the same difficulty boarding their public buses

Our brothers in China face the same difficulty boarding their public buses

Employees enter the building from 3 floors- Ground, UpperBasement and LowerBasement.
The lift usually gets stuffed on the Ground floor, and if people on the UpperBasement are lucky a few can get in there too..but the people in the LowerBasement usually hope in vain.

So one day, I was one of last to fit into the lift having found some space near the door of the lift in the UpperBasement, and then the lift proceeded to the LowerBasement. Floor space in the lift = ZERO.

The lift door opens in the LowerBasement, and usually those who are waiting on the outside smile disappointedly or in amusement at how full the lift is. But not on this day. No, on this day we had a man who was at the end of his rope.

Lift opens, he walks towards us as if we would part like the Red Sea and some floor space would magically be created for him.

We watch in amusement. And then he’s right there, unable to get in, and making it impossible for the doors of the lift to close.

Man in my lift: “Excuse me sir, there is no place in the lift.”
End-of-rope guy: “Then you get out! I have been waiting very long. This is the 10th lift that’s come to this floor.”

I’m trying not to smile too wide at this moment.

The only way you can have allowed 10 lifts to go without getting into any is by being very incompetent or by being a complete gentleman allowing everyone else to get on. And by the 5th lift at least, you should give up and climb the stairs if you’re healthy enough.

Now this man seemed physically able to climb a flight of stairs, and was certainly not a gentleman. So, I’m thinking he was just laughably incompetent.

Man in my lift: “Why should I get out? We’re all in the same situation when trying to get into the lift. Maybe, sir, you should go one floor higher and try.”
Another Man in my lift: “Please move, sir. The lift cannot close with you standing there.”
End-of-rope guy(at the peak of frustration): “IT IS NOT CLOSING MEANS YOU GET OUT!” 
No one budges. We all now openly wear a look of amusement and/or incredulity.
End-of-rope guy now steps back. I think he was on the verge of tears and didn’t want us to see. Or maybe he figured that however strong his argument, we had strength in numbers.
Lift shuts and all of us in the lift burst out in laughter 😀

It was a very good start to my sleepy morning. The whole day I had “IT IS NOT CLOSING MEANS YOU GET OUT!” playing in my head on and off and making me laugh out loud. You got to love these English Indianisms. 😀

“IT IS NOT CLOSING MEANS YOU GET OUT!”  HahahahOhhh that line is just gold! 😀

If there are, by any chance, readers who sympathize with End-of-rope guy- I must say I’m not being mean here..if I wanted to be, I’d tell you how End-of-Rope guy had a shrieky and unauthoritative voice…but, no, I’m not going to do that. I’m leaving out that detail. ‘Cos I’m nice.



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