IT company employs grumpy child

Grumpy child rears ugly head and blogs.

After my joyous sabbatical, I went back to work all “I’ll apply myself to SAP..I’ll learn..I’ll be good at it because I know I can and it’ll be all good.. and meanwhile, I’ll figure out what exactly I want for a career..nice and easy..nice and easy”

Well, Naivety, you were a good friend in the time we spent together.

Anyway, my honeymoon period back at work is over. Kalaas. Critical point reached and I have had my melt-down.

Now I’m like the drugged-up beast coming back to life in your basement. In this case, the basement is my office few hours into my work-day.

An office job is just not my cup of tea. That doesn’t even begin to say it..come to think of it, that  is such a prissy British  phrase lacking color. An office job is more like…like my cup of suffering. Yes, it’s the setting for my biggest Sulk-Fest, or the stake at which I’m martyred.

It’s not that I’m complaining about the office part of my office-job. Of course I appreciate the air conditioning, the swivelly chair and my happy food (read: comfort food) in the cafeteria.

classyhorse

Courtesy: memegenerator.net

What I do not like is-having to sit 10 hours in an office when on most days I have work that’ll take me about 2-3 hours. This does mean I have tonnes of time to learn more at work, but I don’t want to.

What’s that quote about leading the horse to the water?? That applies. I’m the horse and this water tastes no good. Yea..I’m a classy horse and classy horse be wantin some better water yo.

Image

Serves them right for hiring ClassyHorse. Courtesy: quicklol.com

I won’t complain about my managers-because well, managers will be managers, no? On the outside- all pasty smiles and encouragement, on the inside- they’re all like “Work you lazy horse! Work! You see how I wasted my life in this office all these years?? Now I need that money to make up for it and you wasting your life away gets me that MONEHHHH. Work you bastard workkk!”.

Have I told you about the congratulatory mails that are CCed to the whole workforce?

” Congratulations to Rohit Miserabalwala on completing 10 GLORIOUS years in Backcenture1

I guess it’s supposed to encourage us lowly one2 year employees..because you know..wouldn’t it be brilliant to one day see my name in a mail CCed to a million miserable people? Wow. It’s like they read my bucket-list.

But on a more serious note-

10 YEARS, dude? That’s barely ok if you had the life span of a Giant Tortoise or that Japanese old man3, but with all that visceral fat in your IT-paunch that grew on comfort-food, and smoking habit that staved off some office pressure/boredom, it is NOT OK. You, glorified Mr.Miserabalwala, just spent 10 years digging your grave. You have my sympathies. 4

And here I stop because I’ve got to get to work tomorrow! It’s Women’s Day and I might just get a bar of chocolate! 😀 That’s 30 rupees of much needed happy food sponsored by my employers, and the highlight of my work-week.

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All organizations appearing in this post are fictitious. Any resemblance to real organizations is purely coincidental.

Also,

All characters appearing in this post are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental…and pitiful.

2 closer to 2 years, actually. Honesty can be depressing.

3 Old guy’s name is Jiroemon:) While that might sound like a Pokémon to you, my Mallu heart almost swelled with pride thinking it was one of my brothers from the homeland! Jomon, Tintumon, Kunjmon- so why not Jiroemon??

4 I know I’m probably undermining 10 years of a person’s honest well-intentioned much-to-be-respected effort. So kudos to that reader who’s offended right now, but I’m entitled to my disgruntled-employee-opinion on my blog, so show yourself out instead of lecturing me in the ComBox.